It's beginning to look a lot like Kristen.

I have a confession. I put my name into every Christmas song imaginable. For example, the songs that were stuck in my head for my December wedding, "I'm dreaming of a white Kristen," and "I wish you to marry Kristen." I think it all started when I realized that many children confuse my name with Christmas. You know those moments when a mother has her infant repeat your name, Christmas was repeated 50% of the time. So this year I have been singing, "It's beginning to look a lot like Kristen."

We had a great Christmas this year. We were able to celebrate with both sets of parents. My parents were so kind to drive up because I was unable to travel down to Utah to spend Christmas with them. They spent a few days with us and we enjoyed their company. I think one of the highlights was playing games and watching the BYU bowl game. It was nice to just relax. Bryce's parents arrived a day after my parents came. It was fun to chat and eat yummy food with them. We combined many of our families traditions this year. Including my families Christmas Eve tradition of opening pajamas. Of course we all had to match! Bryce was so sweet to me this year and got me a beautiful necklace. John was just as giving and got me a shot gun, named kitty-cat. An inside joke because Bryce and I had an agreement that if he got a shot gun, then I get my cat Sofie. :)

On Friday I had an ultrasound to check on our little guy's position. I was SURE he was heads up...you know, "Mother's instinct." I was wrong. Which isn't a bad thing. Actually it reassured me he wouldn't come out feet first. I also made the doctor assure me he has boy parts. I really don't want to be surprised. But the best part, I got a cute picture. My heart just beats a little more rapid when I see this photo:

Four more weeks! That is all that we have left. I know my life will be changing forever.

Savor the Moments

We are expecting a baby at the end of January.

This is my official announcement to the virtual world. Let me tell you, in all my years imagining pregnancy I never could imagine what I was really in store for.  I think I had this vision of lollipops and cute bellies and some sort of prenatal "glow." In all reality, it has been nothing like that. More like starvation, vomiting, anxiety, and the worst acne/b-ackne ever.

We knew for a few weeks that I might be pregnant, but I was so afraid to take the test. We had just moved to Jerome and I had just started my new job. We had been trying for awhile so I knew it could eventually happen. But I think the actual missing of my period put me through a loop. So I waited another month (until 7 weeks), just in case anything happened and maybe the blow wouldn't be as hard.

I finally had Bryce go to the dollar store and pick up a few pregnancy tests. I sat down. Followed the instructions and then saw the two lines on two sticks indicating a positive result. I sat there and breathed, tried to soak it in. There was no jumping or cheerful screams. I was scared. In usual Bryce fashion he exclaimed, "I think I am going to throw-up," and went downstairs. Later that night as we were getting our nerves together, I felt a warm rush. I ran to the toilet and there was blood. Lots of it. I sat there and panicked, called for Bryce and had him call the hospital. They said to go to a OB in the morning.

That was probably the most fearful night I have ever had, next to when my period started for the first time and I thought I was literally dying. I sat there and prayed for peace and comfort. I just felt numb that whole night. I kept telling myself again and again that whatever happens I can get through it.

The next morning I went in to the doctors and they started drawing blood and decided to give me an ultrasound to see if the baby was ok. I was diagnosed with a sub chorionic hematoma. It is actually quite common, that was reassuring. I was placed on pelvic rest and told not to do anything but go to work and back. The next two months brought their own sense of worry as no pregnant woman wants to be bleeding daily and buying pads at the store.

I think I underestimated how tired I was going to be. From weeks 6-16 I felt like a total zombie. I couldn't go anywhere with out reacting to the smells, wanting to vomit, or needing to sit down. We went to Costco one day and in the parking lot I wrinkled my nose and told Bryce they were cooking some weird spiced meat inside that wasn't a hot dog. Low and behold in the back corner was a sample of tri-tip.

Now for the special part. I think every potential mother fears the worst, and is constantly trying to prepare themselves for it. There is nothing that puts me more at ease then hearing the little heart beat of our baby at doctor's appointments and more recently the little kicks that constantly remind me it is growing. I feel that despite the awful "zombie" months this whole experience is something I should treasure because there are so many who struggle for those little moments. Our nightly prayers include our little one and our hopes it will grow healthy and strong. There is nothing I want more then that. Just a healthy baby...

 Analyze this...this is little fetus' rear-end and back.
It's legs are crossed and it's hands are near it's face.

 Take your own best guesses. I think the head is at the bottom of the image.

Jerome

When Bryce graduated from school in December he and I knew we need a change. I was getting burned out at work, and he was looking for work. So, we started applying at different places.

My sister works at a company in Salt Lake as a designer and so she got me an interview. I did a skype interview with them first and then we drove down to Utah for a final interview. They offered me a job. I was thrilled. I would get to live near my family and work all day with my sister, someone who I enjoy being with and who brings out my fun side. As we were driving home I had the distinct feeling that I should not take it. That we needed to wait for a job for Bryce.

Bryce was applying for graduate schools and looking for a job. He got two offers in one week at both of the places he wanted to work at in Idaho Falls. A kind co-worker had helped him get the one he wanted more and he decided to start there. Three days working there he got a call from the State Health and Welfare office in Twin Falls asking him to come in for an interview. We were beyond thrilled about this position. It was in line with the direction he wanted his career to go. He went in for the interview, and got the job. A few weeks later he also got accepted to the Boise State Masters of Social Work program, in Twin Falls. His work also said that if he continued on working after graduation they would help pay for his schooling.

I decided to stay on at my job in Idaho Falls for another two months. I had a month left on my contract and financially we couldn't afford me working. So I pressed on while Bryce moved to Jerome and I moved in with his great aunt. We were able to sell our apartment lease quickly and living with Bryce's Aunt saved us money and provided both the Aunt and I with company. I hated being away from Bryce so long. I don't think I could ever do that again. If I didn't have Bryce's sweet Aunt I think I would have gone bitter. 

As the weeks neared that I would leave my current job I was getting worried that I wouldn't be able to find work. I had decided I would work anywhere in town. When Bryce was hired, his friend Leslie was also hired for the same position. She mentioned to us that she had worked at a magazine in Jerome in the circulation dept. and that they hired designers. It just so happened, that she also was going to a Young Single Adult job fair that night and she would bring them my resume. She did, they called. I had interviews and then this Monday they made me an offer. Crazy. The one place in a town of 8,000 that hired designers happened to be hiring.

So, here I am in Jerome. Thankfully Bryce has an Uncle and Aunt here so we have some family in town. It as if everything needed has fallen into place. I don't question that I need to be here, but I wonder why God has brought us here. It is so far from home for both of us. As nervous as I am, I am excited for the possibilities this little town brings.