Monday, August 27, 2012

Savor the Moments

We are expecting a baby at the end of January.

This is my official announcement to the virtual world. Let me tell you, in all my years imagining pregnancy I never could imagine what I was really in store for.  I think I had this vision of lollipops and cute bellies and some sort of prenatal "glow." In all reality, it has been nothing like that. More like starvation, vomiting, anxiety, and the worst acne/b-ackne ever.

We knew for a few weeks that I might be pregnant, but I was so afraid to take the test. We had just moved to Jerome and I had just started my new job. We had been trying for awhile so I knew it could eventually happen. But I think the actual missing of my period put me through a loop. So I waited another month (until 7 weeks), just in case anything happened and maybe the blow wouldn't be as hard.

I finally had Bryce go to the dollar store and pick up a few pregnancy tests. I sat down. Followed the instructions and then saw the two lines on two sticks indicating a positive result. I sat there and breathed, tried to soak it in. There was no jumping or cheerful screams. I was scared. In usual Bryce fashion he exclaimed, "I think I am going to throw-up," and went downstairs. Later that night as we were getting our nerves together, I felt a warm rush. I ran to the toilet and there was blood. Lots of it. I sat there and panicked, called for Bryce and had him call the hospital. They said to go to a OB in the morning.

That was probably the most fearful night I have ever had, next to when my period started for the first time and I thought I was literally dying. I sat there and prayed for peace and comfort. I just felt numb that whole night. I kept telling myself again and again that whatever happens I can get through it.

The next morning I went in to the doctors and they started drawing blood and decided to give me an ultrasound to see if the baby was ok. I was diagnosed with a sub chorionic hematoma. It is actually quite common, that was reassuring. I was placed on pelvic rest and told not to do anything but go to work and back. The next two months brought their own sense of worry as no pregnant woman wants to be bleeding daily and buying pads at the store.

I think I underestimated how tired I was going to be. From weeks 6-16 I felt like a total zombie. I couldn't go anywhere with out reacting to the smells, wanting to vomit, or needing to sit down. We went to Costco one day and in the parking lot I wrinkled my nose and told Bryce they were cooking some weird spiced meat inside that wasn't a hot dog. Low and behold in the back corner was a sample of tri-tip.

Now for the special part. I think every potential mother fears the worst, and is constantly trying to prepare themselves for it. There is nothing that puts me more at ease then hearing the little heart beat of our baby at doctor's appointments and more recently the little kicks that constantly remind me it is growing. I feel that despite the awful "zombie" months this whole experience is something I should treasure because there are so many who struggle for those little moments. Our nightly prayers include our little one and our hopes it will grow healthy and strong. There is nothing I want more then that. Just a healthy baby...

 Analyze this...this is little fetus' rear-end and back.
It's legs are crossed and it's hands are near it's face.

 Take your own best guesses. I think the head is at the bottom of the image.