Monday, August 27, 2012

Savor the Moments

We are expecting a baby at the end of January.

This is my official announcement to the virtual world. Let me tell you, in all my years imagining pregnancy I never could imagine what I was really in store for.  I think I had this vision of lollipops and cute bellies and some sort of prenatal "glow." In all reality, it has been nothing like that. More like starvation, vomiting, anxiety, and the worst acne/b-ackne ever.

We knew for a few weeks that I might be pregnant, but I was so afraid to take the test. We had just moved to Jerome and I had just started my new job. We had been trying for awhile so I knew it could eventually happen. But I think the actual missing of my period put me through a loop. So I waited another month (until 7 weeks), just in case anything happened and maybe the blow wouldn't be as hard.

I finally had Bryce go to the dollar store and pick up a few pregnancy tests. I sat down. Followed the instructions and then saw the two lines on two sticks indicating a positive result. I sat there and breathed, tried to soak it in. There was no jumping or cheerful screams. I was scared. In usual Bryce fashion he exclaimed, "I think I am going to throw-up," and went downstairs. Later that night as we were getting our nerves together, I felt a warm rush. I ran to the toilet and there was blood. Lots of it. I sat there and panicked, called for Bryce and had him call the hospital. They said to go to a OB in the morning.

That was probably the most fearful night I have ever had, next to when my period started for the first time and I thought I was literally dying. I sat there and prayed for peace and comfort. I just felt numb that whole night. I kept telling myself again and again that whatever happens I can get through it.

The next morning I went in to the doctors and they started drawing blood and decided to give me an ultrasound to see if the baby was ok. I was diagnosed with a sub chorionic hematoma. It is actually quite common, that was reassuring. I was placed on pelvic rest and told not to do anything but go to work and back. The next two months brought their own sense of worry as no pregnant woman wants to be bleeding daily and buying pads at the store.

I think I underestimated how tired I was going to be. From weeks 6-16 I felt like a total zombie. I couldn't go anywhere with out reacting to the smells, wanting to vomit, or needing to sit down. We went to Costco one day and in the parking lot I wrinkled my nose and told Bryce they were cooking some weird spiced meat inside that wasn't a hot dog. Low and behold in the back corner was a sample of tri-tip.

Now for the special part. I think every potential mother fears the worst, and is constantly trying to prepare themselves for it. There is nothing that puts me more at ease then hearing the little heart beat of our baby at doctor's appointments and more recently the little kicks that constantly remind me it is growing. I feel that despite the awful "zombie" months this whole experience is something I should treasure because there are so many who struggle for those little moments. Our nightly prayers include our little one and our hopes it will grow healthy and strong. There is nothing I want more then that. Just a healthy baby...


 Analyze this...this is little fetus' rear-end and back.
It's legs are crossed and it's hands are near it's face.

 Take your own best guesses. I think the head is at the bottom of the image.

8 comments:

Lara Zierke said...

Congrats! I was chatting with coworkers when I returned from my LOA. I mentioned something about Kristen being pregnant and the conversation suddenly got confusing. Well, it was because they knew *you* are pregnant and I didn't know that. And I knew that Kristen Gotch is pregnant and no one else knew that. It was a funny way for the news go around. :)

Miles Milestones said...

What an exciting time in your life. I am so glad that you published the whole story. I always felt that you would be a great mother. The hard part of the pregnancy is over you are enjoying the second trimester. I love you and your little family and your Dad and I pray for your little one too.

Cherie said...

Your fetus is so cute! Maybe it's a gal, since she is already practicing crossing her legs! I'm glad the scary part is over. It just gets better and better from here on out! I love you!

Anonymous said...

So fun to skype with you guys last night and see your cute little belly, Kristen! It is so fun to imagine a sweet spirit all ready to have his or her opportunity to come to this life with such a wonderful mom and dad already. Treasure every moment - and nap as much as possible while you can!
We love you three!
:) :)

(I have just made four unsuccessful attempts to post this . . . I hope you don't suddenly get five copies of the same thing.)

Kati Howard said...

Oh my goodness Kristen. That is exciting. And personally I find it refreshing to read about the realistic worries of a future mother to be, however, I have no doubt that you will be able to handle anything that little one throws at you. wishing you an easy rest of the pregnancy, a perfect delivery, and most importantly a healthy little one. CONGRATS!! :)

The Brewers said...

Congratulations Kristen! A scary start... but so relieving to be reassured that there is a healthy baby growing inside. :) May the rest of your pregnancy go well!

Johannes and Christine said...

Congratulations!!! I'm so excited for you. Sounds like you had a scary start. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well. You are going to be a great mother! I can't wait to hear more about your pregnancy over the next months. I think it's going to be a little boy! Did you find out the gender? Are you going to?

Richelle said...

How exciting! Congrats!! You will enjoy motherhood. All the ups and downs are totally worth it. As I hold my new little girl (#3 for me), there is nothing like the love I feel. Pure happiness and it warms my heart knowing you get to experience this too!! Can't wait to hear boy or girl! Good luck and congrats again from the Heilmann's!!!