Friday, January 18, 2013

One more week!!

This past week I discovered Hypno-birthing. I know...a little late in the game. New age? Yes. But let me tell has been AMAZING. It has been relaxing and filling me with positive vibes.

Last week I was struggling a lot with fear and anxiety about the birth. I would have nights where I couldn't sleep because I was afraid something was wrong with the baby or something could go wrong. Little things, like thoughts of a cord tightly around his neck, emergency c-sections, breached deliveries. I think from the very beginning of this pregnancy I have been afraid of the worst. Being diagnosed with a Sub Chorionic Hematoma (SCH) early on and bleeding was a very emotional downward tailspin for me and prevented me from embracing the child growing in me for a long time. I started to read and listen to all the horror stories of what could go wrong and totally absorbed myself in negativity. These things have been on my mind for months. I needed to let them go.

Lets face it. Every woman has a warrior story when it comes to their bodies and motherhood. Whether it is a struggle to want to become a mother, birthing, loss, adoption, or infertility. Woman need to find support from others during these times. We find solace in knowing we are not alone; that things go wrong, and that we can overcome. I think I had placed myself in a mindset where I forgot to see the good, joy, victories, and miracles. I had forgotten that every warrior story contains those as well.

My body healed itself naturally from the SCH. My baby has grown. He kicks and squirms. He has a shaky leg like I did in my mothers womb. He doesn't have to fit a standard size measurement or look a certain way. He will come the way nature and God planned for him to enter this world. He may not be perfect. He will be a member of our family and my son.

Being able to push all the negativity aside has been so amazing. I feel like in the last three days I have come full circle and am finally able to embrace that things can go well. I feel much more at ease and less burdened. I don't sit around waiting for him to come anymore; fearing for an early or scary delivery. I also don't feel the need to have to run around the block or do jumping jacks to get him here. (Sadly, I may become a hypocrite and resort to that if he doesn't come while my mom is here) Exciting things are happening in little Jerome, ID and I can't wait for the changes.

Stay tuned. The next post will be of a sweet little baby boy!


Johannes and Christine said...

I'm glad you're been able to find some peace and source of comfort. I can't wait to meet your sweet little boy! I pray for you that everything with the delivery will go well!

maphilly said...

When we skyped with you and Bryce last evening, we hung up, and I said to JP, "They look so happy!" Now I understand why you and Bryce looked so at peace, and ready for little Wee One to arrive. We are so excited for you two - what a joy it has been for us to be parents of our little Wee One, Brycie! :) :) My heart was so touched by your words about each mother's warrior story. Thank you for sharing! You are already an amazing mother!!! Wee One is so blessed to have you and Bryce for parents.
See you soon!