It's beginning to look a lot like Kristen.

I have a confession. I put my name into every Christmas song imaginable. For example, the songs that were stuck in my head for my December wedding, "I'm dreaming of a white Kristen," and "I wish you to marry Kristen." I think it all started when I realized that many children confuse my name with Christmas. You know those moments when a mother has her infant repeat your name, Christmas was repeated 50% of the time. So this year I have been singing, "It's beginning to look a lot like Kristen."

We had a great Christmas this year. We were able to celebrate with both sets of parents. My parents were so kind to drive up because I was unable to travel down to Utah to spend Christmas with them. They spent a few days with us and we enjoyed their company. I think one of the highlights was playing games and watching the BYU bowl game. It was nice to just relax. Bryce's parents arrived a day after my parents came. It was fun to chat and eat yummy food with them. We combined many of our families traditions this year. Including my families Christmas Eve tradition of opening pajamas. Of course we all had to match! Bryce was so sweet to me this year and got me a beautiful necklace. John was just as giving and got me a shot gun, named kitty-cat. An inside joke because Bryce and I had an agreement that if he got a shot gun, then I get my cat Sofie. :)

On Friday I had an ultrasound to check on our little guy's position. I was SURE he was heads up...you know, "Mother's instinct." I was wrong. Which isn't a bad thing. Actually it reassured me he wouldn't come out feet first. I also made the doctor assure me he has boy parts. I really don't want to be surprised. But the best part, I got a cute picture. My heart just beats a little more rapid when I see this photo:

Four more weeks! That is all that we have left. I know my life will be changing forever.

Savor the Moments

We are expecting a baby at the end of January.

This is my official announcement to the virtual world. Let me tell you, in all my years imagining pregnancy I never could imagine what I was really in store for.  I think I had this vision of lollipops and cute bellies and some sort of prenatal "glow." In all reality, it has been nothing like that. More like starvation, vomiting, anxiety, and the worst acne/b-ackne ever.

We knew for a few weeks that I might be pregnant, but I was so afraid to take the test. We had just moved to Jerome and I had just started my new job. We had been trying for awhile so I knew it could eventually happen. But I think the actual missing of my period put me through a loop. So I waited another month (until 7 weeks), just in case anything happened and maybe the blow wouldn't be as hard.

I finally had Bryce go to the dollar store and pick up a few pregnancy tests. I sat down. Followed the instructions and then saw the two lines on two sticks indicating a positive result. I sat there and breathed, tried to soak it in. There was no jumping or cheerful screams. I was scared. In usual Bryce fashion he exclaimed, "I think I am going to throw-up," and went downstairs. Later that night as we were getting our nerves together, I felt a warm rush. I ran to the toilet and there was blood. Lots of it. I sat there and panicked, called for Bryce and had him call the hospital. They said to go to a OB in the morning.

That was probably the most fearful night I have ever had, next to when my period started for the first time and I thought I was literally dying. I sat there and prayed for peace and comfort. I just felt numb that whole night. I kept telling myself again and again that whatever happens I can get through it.

The next morning I went in to the doctors and they started drawing blood and decided to give me an ultrasound to see if the baby was ok. I was diagnosed with a sub chorionic hematoma. It is actually quite common, that was reassuring. I was placed on pelvic rest and told not to do anything but go to work and back. The next two months brought their own sense of worry as no pregnant woman wants to be bleeding daily and buying pads at the store.

I think I underestimated how tired I was going to be. From weeks 6-16 I felt like a total zombie. I couldn't go anywhere with out reacting to the smells, wanting to vomit, or needing to sit down. We went to Costco one day and in the parking lot I wrinkled my nose and told Bryce they were cooking some weird spiced meat inside that wasn't a hot dog. Low and behold in the back corner was a sample of tri-tip.

Now for the special part. I think every potential mother fears the worst, and is constantly trying to prepare themselves for it. There is nothing that puts me more at ease then hearing the little heart beat of our baby at doctor's appointments and more recently the little kicks that constantly remind me it is growing. I feel that despite the awful "zombie" months this whole experience is something I should treasure because there are so many who struggle for those little moments. Our nightly prayers include our little one and our hopes it will grow healthy and strong. There is nothing I want more then that. Just a healthy baby...

 Analyze this...this is little fetus' rear-end and back.
It's legs are crossed and it's hands are near it's face.

 Take your own best guesses. I think the head is at the bottom of the image.

Jerome

When Bryce graduated from school in December he and I knew we need a change. I was getting burned out at work, and he was looking for work. So, we started applying at different places.

My sister works at a company in Salt Lake as a designer and so she got me an interview. I did a skype interview with them first and then we drove down to Utah for a final interview. They offered me a job. I was thrilled. I would get to live near my family and work all day with my sister, someone who I enjoy being with and who brings out my fun side. As we were driving home I had the distinct feeling that I should not take it. That we needed to wait for a job for Bryce.

Bryce was applying for graduate schools and looking for a job. He got two offers in one week at both of the places he wanted to work at in Idaho Falls. A kind co-worker had helped him get the one he wanted more and he decided to start there. Three days working there he got a call from the State Health and Welfare office in Twin Falls asking him to come in for an interview. We were beyond thrilled about this position. It was in line with the direction he wanted his career to go. He went in for the interview, and got the job. A few weeks later he also got accepted to the Boise State Masters of Social Work program, in Twin Falls. His work also said that if he continued on working after graduation they would help pay for his schooling.

I decided to stay on at my job in Idaho Falls for another two months. I had a month left on my contract and financially we couldn't afford me working. So I pressed on while Bryce moved to Jerome and I moved in with his great aunt. We were able to sell our apartment lease quickly and living with Bryce's Aunt saved us money and provided both the Aunt and I with company. I hated being away from Bryce so long. I don't think I could ever do that again. If I didn't have Bryce's sweet Aunt I think I would have gone bitter. 

As the weeks neared that I would leave my current job I was getting worried that I wouldn't be able to find work. I had decided I would work anywhere in town. When Bryce was hired, his friend Leslie was also hired for the same position. She mentioned to us that she had worked at a magazine in Jerome in the circulation dept. and that they hired designers. It just so happened, that she also was going to a Young Single Adult job fair that night and she would bring them my resume. She did, they called. I had interviews and then this Monday they made me an offer. Crazy. The one place in a town of 8,000 that hired designers happened to be hiring.

So, here I am in Jerome. Thankfully Bryce has an Uncle and Aunt here so we have some family in town. It as if everything needed has fallen into place. I don't question that I need to be here, but I wonder why God has brought us here. It is so far from home for both of us. As nervous as I am, I am excited for the possibilities this little town brings.

32 Miles

We knew we had a problem when the transmission fluid in our Buick was poured from the bottle, to the transmission, to the floor. I kept getting the impression that I needed to take the car in. The individuals who had lived in our apartment before us got a coupon in the mail from a local car repair shop that was a discount on transmission repair. So I called them up and took our car in a week later.

The repair cost turned out not to be too expensive and we just needed a new pan. What was startling was when they were going through the check list of things that were wrong with our car.

Manifold Gasket.

WAIT!! This same gasket cost us 1,400 in repairs last year and we had to fix our radiator fluid and hoses because of it. I was furious. (I had even taken the car back to the repair shop because the oil change place said the radiator fluid was dirty. They assured me nothing was wrong.)

The repair man at the new place started pointing out the leak and one that was adjoining it.

So we went home and checked our warranty. Bryce was sure that we had surpassed it with driving to and from Rexburg to Idaho Falls. But we checked the odometer and pulled out the paper work. The repair was guaranteed 12,00o miles. We pulled out the calculator and found that we were at 11,968. 32 miles.

We called up the new repair shop, they were both NAPA certified, and said we were still under warranty. There were other needed repairs and because everything was being taken apart they could cover the labor under the warranty. What would have been over a thousand dollars in repairs we paid only $230 in parts.

It was one of those moments that left me with an assurance that the Lord knows who I am, my struggles, and that he is aware that we pay our tithing even though we are struggling to get by. A non believer may think it was luck, but it was providence in my eyes. Those 32 miles were a miracle.

Bryce's Chicago Trip

Kristen asked me if I wanted to post on the blog about my trip and I quickly said no, but this morning I got up and decided to go for it.

The trip to Chicago was for a program called Chicago Urban Studes: Inner City Youth. This is a fund that is set up through LDS church members in Chicago in coordination with BYU-Idaho. Grover Wray, one of the teachers from BYUI, is over the counselors every year and hand picks about 10-12 counselors who meet together and plan out everything for the camp as far as activities go. We started planning this camp last November and didn't leave until the 6th of August.

Our group having breakfast together
Left to Right: Grover, Spencer, my empty chair, Brittany, Neil, Jack, Juan,
(right side) Micah, Rachel, Joy, Eric, Mike, and Gina

My group going out to explore Chicago for the day (I'm wearing the cow shirt)

What an adventure. We left Salt Lake City at noon on Saturday the 6th and got to our Hostel in Chicago around 8 that night. It was kind of crazy going out at night because Lollapalooza, a huge music festival with like 100 or so bands over three days, was happening and only like 3 blocks away from where we were staying. I don't think I've ever seen that many drunk people flooding a street and chanting U - S - A at midnight in the streets below us since...well, ever. Chicago is pretty humid, you don't have to try to sweat when you walk outside, it just all happens for you. I don't know if I would give up mild weather in Idaho or Washington for never having to use lotion in a place like Chicago, not worth it.

We all got to go to a Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley field and wait for two hours in the rain so that the game could get rained out. Still a great experience, a little wet actually really wet, but really fun just getting to go with the whole group.

Yeah for free hat and T-shirt night at Wrigley field.

Most of the group, all getting soaked for two hours before the game was cancelled. All of the girls ended up wearing ponchos by the time we left (yeah, guys don't wear rain ponchos, we're tough, we work out and stuff!), but as soon as they called the game, it stopped raining for the rest of the night.

We had some good fun in Chicago for four days before taking 32 12-15-year old boys from in and around Chicago back with us to Victor, ID for the summer camp. We had to be up at 4:30 on Wed. morning of the 10th and take the Orange line to the Midway airport, that was also a fun experience. The kids started showing up around 6am and then we started our, what turned out to be almost 16 hour long, trip to Victor. We took two flight to SLC, then took a bus that started breaking down on us to BYU-Idaho, then drove another hour to Victor. What a relief to be done traveling at that point.

Mike, Brittany, Joy, and I ended up having the middle group that was mostly 13-14 yrs. old. What incredible people to be able to spend 10 days with getting to know and have fun with during the camp. We did some really cool things with the boys like a ropes course, tons of activities and classes about a lot of different things, nightly firesides/testimony meetings, devotionals, and we took all of the boys to see the movie "17 Miracles," about the Mormon Pioneers. This was an absolutely rewarding experience to be able to have a part in the lives of these boys and to see their goodness and to get to learn about a lot of the trials that they have to deal with on a daily basis in Chicago (drugs, gangs, shootings, family life, girls, school, etc.). A few more pictures from this trip will some this up and it was amazing.

Our group name, "Not in da Face"

Our group at Eric's class, learning how to make water
rockets out of two liter bottles.

Some of the boys at the BYUI Badger Creek Ropes Course
learning about one of the challenge activities

All 32 boys learning about how to work as a team.

Some of the counselors and boys riding on top of the trailer we loaded with
hay that we all moved for a service project.

At the ropes course, one of the activities is getting to the top of a 30-foot high telephone pole and standing on top, this was a little intense and I didn't think that I would be doing it myself, but all the boys and other counselors said, 'Bryce, you're next.' I thought to myself, "self, don't freak out," not because it's very high, but it is high when you get to the top and it's just a telephone pole sticking out of the ground.

After a minute of holding on to the top, I braved it.

Well, I made it, without falling off and I realize that once you get to the top you have to say a goal you have, but once I got up there, I thought that I should have already thought of a goal, because that's a little terrifying on top trying to think of a goal.

This was a wonderful camp and I feel privileged to have gone and get to know all of those boys. Maybe next time they'll go to bed before 2:00 every morning when we have to wake up at 6:30.

Not a writer.

I think everyone can honestly agree I lack in the skill of writing.

Now that that was stated we can move on.

The summer is almost over and I think I spent the majority of it at work. Our annual convention was held in Minneapolis at the beginning of the month and most of my time the months before were spent sitting at my desk producing labels, forms, and booklets to be handed out for those three short days. My first experience at convention was quite exciting.

I stayed on the 18th floor of a hotel with an awesome view.
I was almost trampled on by people running through doors.
I got to help make the logo. (Ryan deserves the credit)
I was proposed to by the most creepy man in the world.
I was yelled at by a Mennonite woman. (I thought they were supposed to be nice)
I got to see my products in use by the actual customers.
I got a contact for freelance work.
and... I got to see a magic show.

The biggest bummer about convention, other then my tacky green vest, was that I missed the window to see Bryce a day or two before he went to camp. He went to Washington to help his Dad out with a cabinetry job the week school ended, and then left while I was at the convention to help out at an inner city youth camp.

Let me tell you...three weeks is a long time. I don't know how my Dad was able to go on two month business trips when I was a kid.

I was so excited for Bryce to return. If absence makes the heart grow fonder, my heart was fonded. It is amazing how I used to be so independent and had a hard time in the first year of our marriage having to spend so much time with someone else. Now it is the opposite, I have the need to be around people all the time. I was grateful I was able to spend a week while he was gone with my parents in Washington while we were apart. (I'll write about that later)

end.

Gypsy

I think I found a new favorite show the other day. My big fat gypsy wedding. (Note: these are Irish Travelers not Romanians.) And before you judge me hear me out. First I'll argue the negatives...Yes it has little and adult women dancing skanky every once and a while, and there are boys grabbing girls and running off with them, but...the culture is insanely interesting. It is fun to step inside (or sit on my couch and watch) another culture for me. Especially one built up on so much tradition.

First, everyone or most everyone lives in a traveling trailer. They usually do not achieve higher then an eighth grade education and they marry at like 16. Woman don't work and clean the trailer all day, while the males usually work in labor jobs. The wedding dresses are extreme. It is as if an eight year old planned her dream wedding with the puffiest dress and a castle cake.

I think the social commentary on the show is what fasinates me the most. How they deal with the ignorance of others and the fact that they are ignorant themselves. In Mormon society I find we do the same...not the skankiness or trailers, but that we have traditional behavior and it is sometimes hard to accept other "normal" cultures. I personally feel that like them I am often leary of others stepping inside my culture and seeing the oddities and the fact we think honestly really weird and how much I know it. It is kind of nice to know that others have the same problem of balancing and loving what they believe to be a really nice "traditional" lifestyle that is outside the mainstream. I am proud of my background, and like them love participating in the weird traditions.

Also note Bryce hates this show.